How to be a good boyfriend on Valentine’s Day.

When you wake up on February 14th, you wake up with an extra line between your brows. Today is the day you get brownie points for being a decent boyfriend. Slight problem, you’re a little low on cash as in, your account balance cannot buy a plate of àmàlà in white house but not to worry, your girlfriend is

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A trip: Lagos-Ibadan

“The Lord Jesus can save you from this evil world. If you forsake your sinful lifestyle and accept him as Lord and savior, he will come into your heart, he will save you from the ruler of this world…”

I wonder who her Lord Jesus is and what kind of potion he gave to her, to make her boldly disturb and condemn people.

“One day this world of flesh will end, only Jesus can save you. The kind of music you are listening to, will it take you to heaven? The kind of clothe you are wearing, does God like it?”

On and on she goes, reciting the things her god does not like, her voice rising in pitch as she nears the greatest sin. My ears are itching for an eargasm when her voice returns back to normal, no peak. Disappointed, I hiss and turn my attention to other passengers.

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My Spidery godmother (1)

Kind missy spider, on two legs

Alone, all alone in this world,

Kind missy spider all alone

In this world

Mother used to sing about her a lot, a weird little song about a kind spider on two legs; I remember it faintly, like you remember the smell of washed out oguso on mud walls …

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